When I feel powerful emotions.
I pray for you to take these ashes and turn them into a crown of beauty (Isaiah 61:3). At times I stand in disbelief of this battle but I trust Your ways. I hand you my desires and trust You to guide me. At times I feel so much anger that I wave my fists in the air in rage. I beg You, Lord to take my fists and hold them in the palm of Your hand. Allow peace to overwhelm me and guide me to leave the anger and sadness at the alter. I pray for protection from the enemy and from his lies. He wants me to be anxious and depressed but I know that Your ways are better. You want me to find joy in the waiting and love in the process. I pray for any emotions that effect my husband and our marriage, that You would allow us to comfort one another and to find peace and calm in one another's arms. Lord, I thank you for all of my emotions that come from infertility. I acknowledge them and I lay them in Your hands. You know what to do with these emotions and I trust You with my heart. Thank You Jesus for loving me during this time.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them." 1 John 4:16
In Jesus Name,
When I start to fear.
There are times that I start to fear what the future holds. I think about a life with no children and I fear what is to be. Today, I lift up these fears to you and hold on to Your promises. You alone are God and You alone hold my life in Your hands. You did not create in me a spirit of fear but of love and sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). Fear is a lie and I rebuke it right now in the Name of Jesus! You, God are my strength and my refuge. You are my Father and You know what is best for me and my husband. I trust You in the pain and I trust You in the outcome. I will not fear what I cannot see. I ask You to replace any fear I carry with bold faith!
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
In Jesus Name,
When I start to feel jealous of other women.
I confess that there are times when I hear about a sister's pregnancy that I get jealous. My mind is happy for her but my heart is envious. I don't like feeling this way but the reality is that it happens. I grow weary each time I hear of a new pregnancy and my spirit starts to feel discouraged. I ask myself, "when will it be MY time to announce a healthy pregnancy?" I know this jealousy is not holy and I repent and hand it over to You now, Lord. I ask that you help me to feel joy every single time I hear of a new pregnancy. I pray that you help me to find hope in their announcement instead of dread and jealousy. Help me to know that Your promises are for all and that You do not love me any less. Help me to find joy in MY story and in MY journey. Your ways are not my ways and we each have different paths and stories. Help me to lift each pregnant sister I know up to You and to cover their pregnancies and new bundles of joy in prayer and love! Every child is a blessing and I stand firm on that! The devil wants me to feel jealousy and forgotten but I know that is a lie! I know that this journey I am on, is special and has purpose! Your plan for me is filled with love and thought out planning! Thank You for Your plan for me!
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." 1 Corinthians 13:4
"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." Proverbs 14:30
Sex with my husband is a beautiful thing. You have commanded us to become one with our spouse (Genesis 2:24) and I want to honor the emotion and act of sex in my marriage. I pray that sex can continue to be an act of passion and love and not just a way to get pregnant. I pray for You to give us both a desire to love one another passionately and sexually. I pray that any damage we have done to our sex life can be fixed and made better. I pray for sex to continue to be a way of bringing our marriage into one accord and a way of honoring one another. Thank You Lord for the ability to make my husband feel special in this way and I ask for continued and ever growing passion in our marriage. If there has been any time that I made my husband feel like sex was just to create a baby, I ask for forgiveness and a renewed outlook. I pray to always feel desire for my husband, even in the season of infertility.
"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Genesis 2:24
"Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:33
In Jesus Name,
When I allow getting pregnant to ruin sex with my husband.
I know that You are the Lord over my life. I delight myself in You, Lord so I know that You have placed the desires of motherhood in my heart (Psalm 37:4). I have hope in my dreams of becoming a mother because I know that You are a good Father who wants good things for His children. I know You alone, are the creator of life. I pray for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child and I trust You with this prayer. I know You cherish a mother's heart and I know You honor my desire to carry Your creation. Thank You, Lord for Your promises. I know that no matter the outcome, that You have designed our journey perfectly. I trust the process You have put me in and I know that You want good things for me! Thank You Jesus for the beautiful family You will bless me with. I know You will always be the center of us and I am thankful for an opened womb and welcoming heart.
"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless." Psalm 84:11
"He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother. Praise the Lord!" Psalm 113:9
In Jesus Name,
When I need renewed hope.